Now who said that clean jokes can’t be funny? we can prove you wrong, because we have made a compilation of clean and yet funny jokes. Nevetheless, these jokes are healthy and good for both the young and old and even the kids. Some of these jokes can teach you good things as well as make you laugh. These are funny and clean jokes that you can say at any time at any time and anywhere without the fear of abusing or insulting someone unknowingly. Enjoy our list of funny clean jokes, we hope you’ll find them interesting.
150+ Funny Clean Jokes
Clean Funny Jokes
1. Q: Did you hear about the painter who was hospitalized?
A: Reports say it was due to too many strokes.
2. Q: Why did the robber take a bath?
A: Because he wanted to make a clean getaway.
3. Q: What happens if life gives you melons?
A: Your dyslexic
4. Q: What did the blanket say to the bed?
A: Don’t worry, I’ve got you covered!
5. Q: Why should you take a pencil to bed?
A: To draw the curtains!
6. Q: What do you call a frozen dog?
A: A pupsicle.
7. Q. What did the tie say to the hat?
A. You go on ahead and I’ll hang around
8. Q: What washes up on very small beaches?
9. Q: What goes through towns, up & over hills, but doesn’t move?
A: The road!
10. Q: Why did the cross-eyed teacher lose her job?
A: Because she couldn’t control her pupils?
11. Q: What do you call someone who is afraid of Santa?
A: A Clausterphobic
12. Q: What three candies can you find in every school?
A: Nerds, DumDums, and smarties.
13. Q: What stays in the corner and travels all over the world?
A: A stamp.
14. Q: What do you call a man with no body and just a nose?
A: Nobody nose.
15. Q: Why did the computer go to the doctor?
A: Because it had a virus!
16. Q: What do you call a computer that sings?
17. Q: Did you hear about the shampoo shortage in Jamaica?
A: It’s dread-full.
18. Q: How do you make a tissue dance?
A: Put a little boogey in it!
19. Q: Did you hear about the angry pancake?
A: He just flipped.
20. Q: What do prisoners use to call each other?
A: Cell phones.
21. Q: What do you call a cow with a twitch?
A: Beef Jerky.
22. Q: Why did the traffic light turn red?
A: You would too if you had to change in the middle of the street!
23. Q: What did one elevator say to the other elevator?
A: I think I’m coming down with something!
24. Q: What do you call a window that raps?
25. Q: “How do you shoot a killer bee?”
A: “With a bee bee gun.”
26. Q: How do you drown a Hipster?
A: In the mainstream.
27. Q: What kind of jokes do you make in the shower?
A: Clean Jokes!
28. Q: What does a nosey pepper do?
A: Gets jalapeno business!
29. Q: What do you call a fake noodle?
A: An Impasta
30. Q: What do you call an alligator in a vest?
A: An Investigator
Clean Good Jokes
31. Q: Why did Johnny throw the clock out of the window?
A: Because he wanted to see time fly!
32. Q: When do you stop at green and go at red?
A: When you’re eating a watermelon!
33. Q: What did the tailor think of her new job?
A: It was sew sew.
34. Q: What is an astronaut’s favorite place on a computer?
A: The Space bar!
35. Q: What exam do young witches have to pass?
A: A spell-ing test!
36. Q: What do you call a sheep with no head and no legs?
A: A cloud!
37. Q: Which weighs more, a ton of feathers or a ton of bricks?
A: Neither, they both weigh a ton!
38. Q: Did you hear about the blonde who gave her cat a bath?
A: She still hasn’t gotten all the hair off her tongue.
39. Q: What has one horn and gives milk
A: A milk truck.
40. Q: What concert costs 45 cents?
A: 50 Cent featuring Nickleback.
41. Q: Can February March?
A: No. But April May. Did you hear about the injured vegetable? Some say he got beet.
42. Q: Why did the tree go to the dentist?
A: To get a root canal. Q
43. Q: Why is Basketball such a messy sport?
A: Because you dribble on the floor!
44. Q: How do you communicate with a fish?
A: Drop him a line!
45. Q: Where do sheep go to get haircuts?
A: To the Baa Baa shop!
46. Q: What kind of shoes do all spies wear?
47. Q: Why did the soccer player bring string to the game?
A: So he could tie the score.
48. Q: Why is a baseball team similar to a muffin?
A: They both depend on the batter.
49. Q: How do you repair a broken tomato?
A: Tomato Paste!
50. Q: Why did the baby strawberry cry?
A: Because his parents were in a jam!
51. Q: What did the hamburger name his daughter?
52. Q: Who can shave 10 times a day and still have a beard?
A: A barber.
53. Q: What do you call a horse that can’t lose a race?
54. Q: What do you call a dentist in the army?
A: A drill sergeant
55. Q: What do you get when you plant kisses?
A: Tu-lips (two-lips)
56. Q: What did the daddy chimney say to the baby chimney?
A: You are to little to smoke!
57. Q: What do you call a ghosts mom and dad?
58. Q: What did Winnie The Pooh say to his agent?
A: Show me the honey!
59. Q: What did the man say to the wall?
A: One more crack like that and I’ll plaster ya!
60. Q: What do you get when you cross a fridge with a radio?
A: Cool Music.